There are a lot of articles and advice in circulation suggesting we walk away from toxic people or situations. However, there is also another school of thought encouraging us not to get affected by being around toxicity, that it is not personal, or it is only really digging into our egos.
if we don’t walk away, how else then can we protect ourselves from the toxicity?
"if we don’t walk away, how else then can we protect ourselves from the toxicity?"
If you have no choice ie. its family and you're stuck with them, there are several excellent techniques to help you gain clarity on the dynamic - clarity is power when it comes to manipulative or toxic relationships - it helps you not be so affected when you can see the underlying game at play.
Byron Katie and her Work is amazing.
If you feel you have many chords, do try the cutting chords Reiki send:
https://www.reiki-centre.com/post/healing-energetic-ties-in-relationships-cutting-chords-1
I also love the simple Reiki send "the the perfect resolution of my relationship with ..."
Afew blogs and video resources:
https://www.reiki-centre.com/post/personal-responsibility-and-relationships
https://www.reiki-centre.com/post/clarity-in-relationships-what-is-selfish-and-what-is-self-love
Hugs! Elaine
Hey Shee Li,
Ah, the million dollar question! This is my 2 cents worth, I'm also interested to see what others think and have found effective in the past?
I think the critical process for me is to get very clear on what the actions/behaviours of the other person are. And to have a clear criteria of what behaviours I find acceptable. I don't agree with the school of thought that says "rise above it and suffer". - in nature all organisms, including amoeba, move away from toxins.
So firstly, what are your criteria for interaction? My main ones are:
Loving and compassionate in words and actions
I feel expanded not contracted when I am with them
Their words and actions match up (trustworthy)
This simple list is easy to put against someone's behaviour that you find confusing and either tick it or cross it. I often give a lot of leeway for number 3 as often people themselves don't know their words and actions don't match - even I can't live up to that criteria all the time - hahah! But again, is it unconscious behaviour or not? when you point it out to them do they go "oh my god thanks for pointing that out!" or do they attack you in defence?
If they are basically doing all those three things and I'm just irritated with them, then I know it's me, not them. Then I turn my list round and check in with myself 😊
And yes, it's not personal, but no its not ego necessarily. Life is short, you are allowed to choose who you spend it with. When you get yourself out of toxic relationships you will have much more energy to spend on those who actually nurture and grow you.
What do others think?